Now that I have your attention… 🙂

No seriously, today’s post is about a topic very close to my heart, as it is something that I face every day myself.

Some of you may have seen the video which is embedded in this post already, I saw it a few days ago and I just couldn’t forget it. The video will ask you to donate at the end, as it’s purpose is to raise money to be able to film a complete documentary about this topic. Which is awesome and I am happy to see that the pledged sum has already been raised.
So, I am not posting this wanting more people to reach into their pockets, but to learn and understand what every woman has to deal with every single day in their lives (I have not met one lady that did not have to deal with this topic).

So what is this all about?
It is about body image!
I know it is often talked about, and I am glad to see that there seems to be more openness to accepting all kinds of shapes and forms and colors of bodies nowadays compared to just a few years ago, but this goes deeper.

This video reveals that body image is a constant companion for most of us woman (and man), even when to the outside world we may look perfect already.
The topic here is about that all what we see in the media, and what we get told by magazines and advertisement companies, is nothing but brain washing!!!
Because it is not done, once the physical appearance changes, if we ever get there.
So many of us chase this perfect outer image of ourselves every day for all of our lives, most of us never get there. Like literally, most of us never manage to actually create this body that we see every day in some glossy magazine.
And it makes us feel useless, vulnerable, it takes a great amount of energy to keep chasing that dream every day….till we finally realize at an older age, that it all doesn’t matter.
But wouldn’t it be nice to have this realization in your 20ies, 30ies?!
Wouldnt it be nice if we didn’t need to have this realization in the first place?!
But what about those who do make it? Change their lives and their bodies, like Taryn Brumfitt, the lady in the video.
She was overweight, fighting with herself every day. She changed it all around, became a freaking Fitness Model, exposing herself in nothing but a tiny bikini to a whole lot of strangers, to be judged on her appearances!
And yes, she looked amazing, and yes she looked very confident!!!

But wait…every day, when she looked in the mirror, she still wasn’t happy with what she saw: Because she had been brainwashed, and her perception of herself was nothing but a blur!

And why do you think is topic so close to me?
Because I know exactly what it feels like!
I had always been a little on the larger side as a kid, as a teenager. Not much, but enough to make me feel not as pretty as my friends.
I was an active kid, but at the age of 13/14 I had to stop all sports because of back and knee problems. At the same time I started on the contraceptive pill…within 3 months I had put on 10kg
Then my first ever boyfriend dumped me ( not because of the weight, I know that), and I reached a peak of 74kg at the age of 14/15… I would have given everything to get a thigh reduction!
For the following years my weight went up and down, and up and down.
Now, 15 years later I have been able to keep my weight around the 58/60 kg mark, and I am happy with it! I am!
What it does not change though, is the fact that I still catch myself every now and then looking in the mirror, seeing myself bigger than what I actually am. Still a bit too much fat here, and another bulge there, and not enough tone here…
Luckily, I think I am halfway there, where I may finally be able to 100% accept my body for what it looks like.
Because for now, you will never see me run around those tight exercise tights without wearing a long enough shirt to cover my back side… 🙂 I am still very self conscious. The thing is, it might even look ok, I don’t know, and in the end – who gives a … anyway?!
But that is what I mean, I, as so many others, have been brainwashed and I have to work on changing that every day.
I have reached the point where I don’t exercise to look good, but to feel good and to have fun doing it.
My goal is to be healthy, but I am also realistic. If I have to train excessively and restrict my diet to an extreme to reach a certain body type, than I will have to maintain that amount of exercise and the diet to keep that body…
I don’t want to do that. I have life! I want to enjoy a few drinks every now and then, and some naughty sugar every once in a while.

Where am I going with this….?
The message in the video is to accept your body, to love it for how it looks like, deep within yourself!
This misconception of our self image, that is what people who suffer from bulimia and other eating disorders have to fight every day, even after recovery!
So I want to take this a little further: Accept yourself for who you are, love what looks back at you when you glance in the mirror. However, that doesn’t mean to let yourself go.
A healthy mind, lives in a healthy body – the romans knew that (from Satire X of the roman poet Juvenal, bit of history here for you 😉    )
So go out, exercise your body and exercise your mind, but for the purpose of health, fun and freedom. Free your mind from what society dictates, as it is created to keep you bound, to keep you down, to not rise to your full potential!
If your issues don’t lie with society, but have a different emotional cause, find a way to deal with it, to face it and to let go of it. Get professional help if you need to, sometimes mediation and a few “self help books” just don’t cut it!
It doesn’t happen from one day to another, but day by day you will get a step closer to a happier you! Not for what you look like, but for how you feel!!!

Me with somewhere around 70 kg                                 And a good 10kg later

Capture Capture 1Just for proof, as most of you would have not known me when I was heavier 🙂


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